The Mysterious Mr Lagerfeld 

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Painting Birds With Jim And Nancy Moir 

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High fashion, high income and high maintenance are a corrosive combination. They eat away at the soul, as people who have been close to ageing model Choupette will testify.

'Choupette is not a nice girl,' one bitter stylist whispered, on The Mysterious Mr Lagerfeld (BBC2).

'Very jealous. She's a mean cat.'

The former muse of Chanel supremo Karl Lagerfeld, famous for her wide blue eyes, commanded millions of euros for a photoshoot or endorsement. 

But since the designer's death in 2019, she's been dogged (if that's the right word) by rumours of off-stage nastiness, including allegations that underlings have been scratched or bitten.

Documentary veteran Michael Waldman, while ostensibly investigating the legal tangle around Lagerfeld's estimated £178 million estate, was able to capture rare, unguarded shots of Choupette today — glaring through a doorway, riding in the back of a limo, and relaxing in a hammock.

She's a pedigree Birman, creamy white with pink ears and cheeks, and possibly the most valuable cat in the world.

Under French law, an animal's owner also keeps all image rights. How much could a picture of Choupette be worth? Well, she appears in the latest copy of Vogue . . . cradled by Naomi Campbell, and photographed by Annie Leibovitz.

This puss proved the perfect emblem in an engrossing, bewildering, hilarious and exasperating 90-minute film.
Most of the other contributors also looked as though they spent every waking moment grooming themselves. The camera's attention set them purring but they weren't giving many secrets away.

'King Karl' treated people as pets, spoiling those around him with extravagant gifts.

Though the models, former friends and servants all spoke longingly of his generosity, few of them had a good word for each other. The world of haute couture is full of mean cats.

To live amid fabulous wealth, surrounded by sycophants, must be exhausting.
Lagerfeld lost his grip on the real world decades ago — he used to visit one Paris bookshop three times a week, spending up to 20,000 euros a time. 

Then he would ply models with volumes of philosophy and history in the hope they might have something interesting to say, next time he met them.

In a bid to avoid French taxes, he bought a villa with views of Monte Carlo .

. . without checking it was actually within the borders of the Monaco tax haven (it wasn't).

Because of the arcane complications surrounding Lagerfeld's bequests, Waldman had to tiptoe around some questions. 

He didn't even ask the name of the accountant at the centre of the web, who has allegedly decamped to Switzerland.
There's far more to be discovered.

Cats are not welcome on Painting Birds With Jim And Nancy Moir (Sky Arts), which took the Artist Formerly Known As Vic Reeves and his missus to Cornwall.

This show, which got off to a messy start, is beginning to find its style.

Jim and Nancy are never more than a grin and a wink away from flirting. They played a game of drawing each other's portraits while facing each other across a table, sketchpads on their knees. 'I don't know where I've put your ears,' Nancy giggled.

When they weren't behaving like lovestruck teens, Jim was drawing choughs: 'I get a kick out of painting those bright red beaks.

It lifts the spirits.'

The gallery director organising his latest art exhibition was pleased too. Jim's paintings are apt to sell out before the doors open — and for some reason, punters like his blackbirds best.

No doubt, they'll love choughs too.

Jim calls them 'crows with lipstick'.